Our First Confirmation

In the world of academia, I should really be doing something constructive right now. Preparing for the conference presentation I have tomorrow comes to mind. But then so does reading the pile of midterm portfolios on my desk or scheduling student conferences for next week. Finishing research for the papers I have due in a few weeks is in that list too. But, I can't seem to focus on anything right now except the email sitting on my desk. So what's the big deal?

Well, yesterday, I emailed the two state parks we're interested in having the wedding at. I explained the entire wedding weekend and asked if this was possible coupled with keeping a few cabins for family at Christmas (and through the 28th). Basically, I told them that we would want to, basically, rent the park out from the 18th through the 28th. A few minutes ago, I got this response from one of the sites:

We would be able to accommodate this event. I checked our books and all of the cabins and motels are available at this time. The lodge where we have weddings all the time is also available at this time. If you would give us a call for more details

Yeah! And I know from talking to my mom that the other one we're looking at does weddings and seems enthused about the prospect of us being there for the week. I just don't have an email confirmation yet. We'll just have to see how it goes. I'm calling the parks next week (hopefully) to get answers to the million questions I have. I'm hoping that we'll be able to have not only a date but a location here in the next month. Then, come the first of January, I hope we're putting down a deposit! Yeah us!

Flower Girls, Fishing and Formal Wear

One of my favorite pictures of one of my flower girls involves her standing on the patio of her grandparents' lake house in a princess dress with her hands extended as she smiles for the camera. The reason this is one of my favorite pictures is not that she looks like the perfect little princess all dressed up for the ball. In fact, this is my favorite picture because she has dirt and worm guts all over her hands. Her cousin and partner in flower girl land is much the same way. These two precious girls are my flower girls because they remind me much of myself at the same age. I didn't care what I was wearing; if there was a tree to climb or a worm bin to play with, I was all over it.

So, in the past few days, I've been procrastinating my paper research to look for the perfect dresses for these little angels. I've seen many adorable dresses that would work well with the wedding theme and look precious on the girls. But I refuse to buy any of these dresses. Why not? Well, I have reality staring me in the face. My bridesmaids gowns are costing about $180 each. I can fully justify spending this money on these great women because the attire is a two piece and both pieces can (and I hypothesize will be) worn at later dates. Flower girl dresses. Well, that's another story. These precious little girls will likely wear the dresses again--and I hope they will until they outgrow them. And I know that my girls will wear the dresses to climb trees in, to fish in, or to splash around in a mud puddle if there's one nearby. And there is nothing wrong with that. However, paying between $150 and $300 for a cute dress that will end up wit mud, tree branches, and worm guts on it is completely out of the question.

The sad thing is that I know exactly what I want in a flower girl dress. It's the one in this post. But with some sleeves. The dress is adorable without sleeves, but little frozen flower girls are not on the wedding agenda. What I like best about this dress is that it is, really, a simple A-line dress that isn't overly sophisticated for such young girls. But, I'm refusing to buy it. Why? It runs about $175 at the cheap sites online. That's ludicrous! So, next spring, I'm going shopping for my girls. I want something similar to this dress, but with sleeves. I figure something similar cannot be too hard to find. A simple white dress with sleeves. Then, what I can do is get a sash that matches the color of my bridesmaids' gowns, or one in the oft forgotten color of my wedding (crimson) and add that to the dress. If I'm feeling creative (and my friends who are not as sewingly challenged as I am offer help), it would not be a problem to attach the sashes either around the waist or, like in this dress, around the upper hem of the dress. I figure that buying the gowns just around Easter and then purchasing the sash and attaching it, I'm still coming out with a more reasonable price than they charge for any "official" flower girl dress.

First Wedding Mini-Crisis Averted

For some reason, probably paper procrastination, I felt compelled to take another gander at my gown today. I can't explain it, but I had to. So, I hopped on the website, pulled up the dress from my favorites and ogled for a minute before I realized that there were now comments on the dress. Ooooh! I love knowing what other people think about things like this. So, I started with the oldest comment and, about three comments into the page, I read this one:

I love it! I searched everywhere for it, like the other woman said- if you love it get it NOW!! It is being retired. I cant wait, i try it on like every day.

Now, I don't panic over comments like this. Okay, so the dress is being retired. It's not the end of the world, I thought as I perused the rest of the comments. All of them said the same thing.

"I'll just find another gown." I thought as I browsed through the new additions to the website.

But, as I continued searching the pages, nothing was jumping off the page begging me to look more. The longer I looked, the more I began to realize that this was my dress. There is not another dress for me. I'm too attached to this dress and have been since I tried it on this summer. So, this let me with several ways of approaching the problem.

1. Sell $700 worth of plasma and run spastically through the bridal stores in the Dallas area until I found one in a size near my own. I can hope that the size is close enough to alter when the time comes.
2. Apply for immediate credit card and dash to bridal store this weekend. Buy whatever is in stock, regardless of size.
3. Wait patiently until mom shows up in several months, explain situation and buy then. Okay, so I have to still hope that the dress is in the appropriate size when it comes time to have the alterations done.
4. Curl up in cozy chair, set tea on coffee table, and Google with fingers crossed.

Well, I chose the last option. It sounded like the best idea for my current situation. The reason for this is that I really don't want to buy the gown this early. I'm hoping to be a size smaller (at least) when I start alterations. So, if I can wait, I would rather. Now, in addition to this, I want my mothers (yes, both of them) the chance to see the gown before I buy it. Sure, if the store doesn't have it at the time, I understand. But I want the option.

Guess what I found on Google. A different designer makes the same gown. Yeah! But that's not all. This designer makes the same gown and I can add an extra foot to the train (an idea I like), rush the delivery, pay for overnight shipping, and still save close to $200. And, if I don't want to do it this way, there are four stores in the area that carry the designer, so I can check with them and see if they can order it. So, crisis averted. Now, it's time to sit back enjoy my tea and see if they have flower girl dresses that I like.

Overview of the Wedding Concept

So, here's the plan (as it is in our brains) for the wedding.

We want to rent out a large portion of a state park in Mississippi the weekend before Christmas. We'll have cabins for those who want the amenities, RV and camper spots for those who would prefer, and tent camping for the really brave. Then, for the wedding, we'll have a cabin for everybody to get ready in. Oh, and there's a hotel at the edge of one of the parks for those who would prefer (and those who don't fit into the cabins). We're hoping (if everybody's plans work with this) that the wedding will be the Saturday before Christmas, but the festivities will start Friday for all the guests, but Thursday night for the wedding party.

I want to have the wedding party all arrive on Thursday night (but if we find out a lot of guests will be arriving on Thursday, then maybe Wednesday night). That night, I want to have a wedding party gathering where we bribe people with food to help us with the finishing touches on those very last details. Then, I'm thinking maybe some hot cocoa and roasted marshmallows around a fire. I want this time, more than anything, to be a chance for us to show our thanks to the entire wedding party.

Friday, we want to have a few fun events set up for the guests who arrive early. The park(s) we're looking at (Clarko and Roosevelt, but leaning more towards Roosevelt) have mini golf and hiking trails. I'd also like to look into a few of the other local attractions and services. Perhaps we could set up a spa time for the women. (I'll nail down more on this when I get around to the surveys I'll be sending out.) Then, Friday afternoon, we want to do the rehearsal and then have the rehearsal dinner (grilling/fajitas/something to that effect) at one of the pavilions and open this up to everybody who's there, not just the wedding party.

Saturday will be the wedding and reception. Still not certain on the food, but we're working on it.

Then Sunday, we want to do a thank you brunch for the guests who have come in from all corners of the earth before we disappear for a day or so.

Now here's where it gets questionable. When we leave on Sunday, we're expecting the majority of our guests to do the same since it's so close to Christmas. But, we're also hoping to spend Christmas with our entire family. We were originally thinking about letting go of all the cabins except maybe one or two; but we're not sure just yet. We still have to find out if everybody would be content entertaining themselves in the middle of nowhere for, say, three days before we return to celebrate Christmas.

Bridesmaids Gowns

Well, we know we have three bridesmaids and we know that we have three very different girls. The men will be wearing Texas Tuxes, and I wanted something elegant and beautiful, with a hint of winter to the gown for my girls. There's a hint of silver in the wedding gown, and he and I were already contemplating silver as our wedding color. It's official now. We're going to be doing white and silver as our main colors. So, here's what I'm looking at for the bridesmaids. All of these come from David's. This gives the girls the same option for skirt (because it's the one I like the most) and three options for the top so that the can pick the one that they like best (and is the most flattering).

A Brilliant Idea for Planning a Destination Wedding

Sorry folks, this is a bit more just an FYI for me to get back to when I'm actually starting the planning than a wedding idea. But, a good friend of mine just sent this to me and I don't want to forget about it.

Make a 'here or there' list. Write out what can be done from where you are and what will need to be arranged where you plan to wed. Do as much as you can where you live - choose your dress, accessories, bridesmaid dresses, invitations, favors, etc. Things that must be booked there (florist, caterer, makeup and hair stylists, etc.) will need to be done on weekend trips or through great communication. Send or e-mail pictures of your ideal bouquet, hairstyles, etc., to your vendors as you come across them.

Lucky for me, I have friends and family in the area. Maybe somebody will be willing to help with some of the "there" stuff. I'm sure I can twist somebody's arm :P

A Scrapbook/Guestbook

I've never understood the concept of a guest book for one reason only. You're required to use some big furry pen and write in a book about as personalized as the one you write in at any other event. But this is my wedding. I want better than that. So here's the current guest book idea.

I want to find something in the scrapbook line and get enough pages for everybody invited to have their own page. Then, as people RSVP for the wedding, we mail them a blank page (or pages--I love the idea of the kids having a chance to do their own page) and tell the the theme of the wedding and ask them to decorate their page of the guest book in any manner they see fit. I'm hoping that by doing this, we get friends and family not only excited about the wedding, but also a bit sentimental. I want everybody to have the chance to express their feelings and thoughts and any stories or anecdotes they see fit to include.

Unity Candles, Important Family Members and a Potential Idea

I've always loved the idea of unity candles and I always think that the mothers in a wedding don't have a big enough part. So, here's another idea I've been mulling around. I haven't brought this to him yet, since I'm still not sure if it's a good idea or just a touch too sappy. But here goes.

I think I want to have my mother and his mother walk down the aisle arm in arm each carrying a single taper. When they reach the altar, his father lights the candles for each of them and they place them in the candle holders. It is these candles that are used to light the unity candle. I think that, just as having my father walk me down the aisle is a sign of our receiving his blessing, having all of the family involved would truly show the unity that will be our wedding.

Again, though, I'm still kicking this around. Thoughts are welcome.

A Weekend Agenda

I was reading about a couple who got married in Cancun a few weeks ago. They had a brilliant idea that I'm contemplating for the wedding. As their guests checked into the hotel, they were given a welcome basket filled with a couple bottles of water, a map of the area, a bag of popcorn and a few pieces of fruit.

I'm contemplating doing something similar for the wedding. But I want to expand the idea a bit for our wedding. What I think would be nice is a basket with a few packets of hot cocoa (hey, we're getting married in December), popcorn, fruit, maybe some Indianola nuts. Then again, with our theme, we may need to include some Prilosec for the post-chili/fajita moments. We'll work out details later, I've still got to see how Mike feels about this.

I think it would also be a great idea to include a weekend agenda and map. This way everybody would know what was going on when and where and nobody would feel left out. On the program, I would like to list all the important deadlines as well as the fun stuff we have planned so that everybody could participate as they wish. This way, we could have the time and place for everything from the rehearsal dinner to the miniature golf games that we really want to get everybody involved in over the weekend.

Cake Topper

So...we haven't finalized decisions on the cake--in fact we haven't really talked much about the cake or the cheesecake as it may be. However, as I continue to pretend that the class I'm taking this summer is not amazingly off topic and a bit too repetitive for my blood, I continue to seek out things for the wedding that match our ideas. I'm getting there, slowly.

Anyway, Mike and I are so in love with the idea of a subtle western theme and since I have agreed to wear white boots under my gown, I think this is going to be the cake topper. I'm loving this not only because it says "Western Elegance" to me, but because it's also a functional keepsake. The little platform that the boots are on comes off and there's a little keepsake box that's perfect for putting my lucky sixpence in. It's just so adorable! And, the biggest plus of all-->Mike likes it!

Bridal Shoes!

So, I'm pretty sure that this picture has just found a life of its own in my wedding. I caught it in The Knot Texas (it's an ad for J. Cogliandro, a Houston photographer). I jokingly showed the picture to Mike and asked if I could wear cowboy boots under my wedding gown (since it's way too cold to go barefoot)! Mike gets this very serious look on his face and says

I want a picture of you in that pose for my wallet!

So I've been pondering it a lot here in the past few days and really, I love the idea. I mean come on, we're doing a natural themed wedding in muted colors in a state park. Why not cowboy boots? Did I mention the guys will be in cowboy boots since it's a big part of the Texas Tux they'll be wearing. Mike's in complete agreement with this. Only he wants me to get white boots for under the dress since he's certain that black ones will show through. But he's also said that if I humor him on this one point, he's going to buy me a pair of black boots!

So, looking at this from a girly perspective; I get to wear boots under my wedding gown and I get a free pair of shoes to go with it. Woohoo! I guess I can wear white boots for him. It is his wedding too...and he's been such a dear with the input and actually participating in the planning. Okay, white boots it is. But I'm wearing the black ones to all the other wedding related functions I can justify! And a girl can never be without a good pair of white boots. Right.

I'VE FOUND THE DRESS

Oh, my! It has been done! I have officially decided on a gown. It's mine! I know it is! I walked into the store and had two that I wanted to try on. I didn't think Mike liked one of them, so I was putting it on as my second choice. Well, here's what happened.

I tried on the second choice gown first. You know, I wanted to save "my" gown for last so that I would know it was the one.



Then, I get into this second choice gown and I'm standing in front of the mirror in this beautiful gown and the sales lady puts the veil on me and she's explaining about the blusher veil and I honestly thought I was going to cry!

It took me almost half an hour to finally take it off. I kept pretending I was waiting for the sales lady (because I didn't want to look like I was that anxious about the gown since I didn't want to be let down if Mike still liked the other better. I thought I liked them both equally).

When I tried on the second gown--the one that I had assumed for weeks would be my wedding gown--I wasn't that impressed. I looked at it in the mirror for about two minutes and then took it off. That's a sign, right?

The chapel length veil in that third picture (with the black background) is indeed the one I'm going to be wearing! Isn't that beautiful! The embroidery is what I fell in love with. I love the white and silver look SO much! And I can afford the dress (now that's the scary part)!

Decision One--Invitations

Sticking to this whole state park/nature theme, Mike and I have come to yet another decision. We've chosen our invitations. Well, actually they aren't our invitations. But the inspiration for our invitations, rather. Since we're doing this all on our own, we'll recreate the invitations to better suit us. Anyway, here's the beauty of doing it yourself. If I were to order these from the manufacturer (and I mean invitations, outer and inner envelopes and the response card) will cost us over $150. Now, I'm writing that down in the "expected budget." I'll let you know what it actually costs us later. Aren't they just fabulous!

Yeah! A First Decision Made--The Concept.

So after weeks of looking at stuff for the wedding, we've made our first real decision. Mike and I have decided that we want the wedding to consist of just family, and very close friends. Because of my scheduling conflicts, we are doing this in December 2008. Just a couple of days before Christmas (won't that be exciting!), we'll be gathering those close and dear to us at an intimate weekend affair. Hopefully we'll be doing this at a state park in Mississippi. It looks like we can rent out the cabins for the entire weekend AND be able to do Christmas with the families just after the wedding! Now, we just need to plan the Wedding, Reception, Guest List. So much to do. But classes are over soon and it won't be that long before my summer slows down and I can do a bit of planning!

About Us (Maybe More than you wanted to know)

Come November, Mike and I will have officially been together for seven years. Yet, it was the spring before that when we met. We never spoke more than the occasional hello to each other; I was busy being invincible and he was just out of a long-term relationship.

When we finally did start talking, we realized we had more in common than we realized. Things moved pretty slowly for awhile; we'd meet for Chinese food and an old movie at his parents' house, hang out in the pool, or drive into the "big city" for a special night. The last three months of the year flew by and I was preparing to head away to college in January. We swore we would continue to see each other, but in my mind I knew it would never work. I've never been in a long-distance relationship that worked.

But our relationship worked; we spent nights on the phone, days instant messaging each other and weekends cherishing our few hours together. By the time I finished that first year away (technically my Sophomore year), I knew I loved him. Really.

I didn't say anything, though. Mike was the guy who swore he didn't believe in love. He also swore that talking about marriage was a sure way to end a relationship (and I had felt this way until those last long months). I had a feeling it would work out; all I had to do was wait. And I was good at waiting. So, I wrapped up my junior and senior year and began making plans for Graduate School. I ended up staying in the same city for Grad school and Mike and I moved in together just after he graduated with his Bachelor's in August.

So we had made it to year four and still not uttered the "L" word to each other. I had come to realize that I was happy just being with him; the "status" of the relationship was much less important. The two years it took to finish my Masters' degree flew by and, before I knew it, I was making plans for a PhD.

I decided on a school near Dallas and Mike was thrilled to finally be moving home. Unfortunately, he couldn't get to Texas just yet; he had job obligations to fulfill before he could get down. So he came down in October for a weekend. I went up in November for a weekend. The month trudged by so slow by the time I headed back to see him that time. But that was the trip that ended in the birth of our new beginning.

We had visited my parents and were on the way back to his parents' lake house for a quiet night of fishing when it happened. As we hit the county line and the last few miles to the house, he looked at me and said, "We should probably start talking about getting engaged." I was floored. My English major heart couldn't take the distraction at the time and so I said "okay." Soon, though, I began to analyze it. How does one talk about getting engaged? What does that mean? Will it be soon?

I couldn't get the sentence out of my head and had to consult several close friends about the meaning of his words. We were all befuddled; six English degrees could not determine one man's statement. It was a sad situation. By January, still with no idea as to the meaning of the sentence, I got sidetracked. Mike was officially in Dallas, I was back in school and life was back to "normal." The months flew by so fast that my birthday snuck up on me. The weather was warm, it was a beautiful Saturday afternoon (which was actually the day before my birthday) and I had not thought much about the diamond I knew he had bought. He, like the tease that he can be, had told me he bought it, but never told me when it came in.

I can't say the day was uneventful by any stretch of the imagination. I woke up to a friend confused about the results of her pregnancy test. We spent the morning with two close friends helping one prepare to tell her fiance they were having a baby, and the hours flew by. Then, in the early hours of the afternoon when life had settled itself into a peaceful cadence, he handed me my phone and said I had a text message from my best friend. The message read:

My dearest kitten time to begin the treasure quest. The first stop is an empty living room. Seek the neighbor who lacks furniture and enables addictions.

So off I went to the home of my good friend, Jen, who presented me with a card. The card read

So here you stand at your first stop. The next clue should lead you to a sweet chill. Head to the nearest source of ice and open the door below it. Inside there is a box and something blue gree atop it. If you open her front door you've been led astray.

So here I am, knowing that I'm paying penance for a scavenger hunt I sent him on the first year we were together for his birthday. But I play along. Jen's fridge contains a small box of Whitman's SoHo chocolate. If you've never had these then let me say that they are the most beautiful chocolates you will ever eat. They're so beautiful they're hard to eat, actually. For a moment. But, I digress. The card with the chocolates reads:

See, I told you something sweet. Now offer a piece to the home owner and take one for yourself. Since it is better to give, it is time to share with another. Give your thanks and head out the door. Now seek out the neighbor who shares your chocolate addiction. She has another card and a butter knife bump Exchange a piece of chocolate for the gift she has to offer.

So away I go to Lisa's house. We share a chocolate and she hands me another card. Now, Mike has gone for the more ridiculous riddle approach. It reads:

Standing in your home away from home there is another happy hiding. Garlic is oft called the smelly ___, so poke about in the kitchen and seek out the ___es. Hint: They only like it cold after they've been cut.

To fill in the blanks (which took me a few minutes), garlic is oft called the smelly rose! I didn't get this without raiding all of Lisa's cupboards and finally deciding the fridge was a good place to check out. There in the bottom of the fridge were six beautiful roses. And another card.

Well let's see…Megan, Jen, Lisa…whom have we left out? Here is your hint. Text the person whom we've bid for half. You could ask her about IBS, PhDs, or even when we can claim 1 arm, 2 legs and 1 ass cheek. I suggest you ask her where to go next.

So I text Simone. And wait. I had simply asked her where to go next. As I'm standing in Lisa's front yard waiting, I think to myself maybe there's an order to the messages. So I text her back and ask about IBS. I wait. Finally, I decide to send Lisa over to ask Mike what the next step is and as soon as she knocks, I get a message from Simone that reads:

What the hell are you doing? Get the hell home!

So away I go. I open the door to my apartment and Mike meets me there with two glasses of champagne. We drink and then he pulls a small box out of his pocket and asks me if I'm ready to start working on my tan line. (I should explain that when I asked him about my ring in March, he said I would have it in time to get a tan line before we went to see my parents in May.) He opens the box and there is the most beautiful diamond I have ever seen. And it's MINE!